You aren’t perfect, you know that I’m sure. And dear mama, you surely have some relief in knowing that you’re not perfect and you give yourself some grace when you make mistakes. I hear you! I know how frustrating it is, this daily battle with self.
Dear mama, I want to take a moment and remind you that as you cannot make yourself perfect, you cannot make your children perfect. Take a breath and listen,
You Cannot Make Your Children Perfect.
You can gently lead, train, pray for and guide them. You can use kind words and show love, you can tenderly correct them. But dear mama, in no way can you make them perfect. No lists, no charts, no punishment, no scripture memory, no perfect curriculum, no amount of chores, no scrubbing the floors or walls, no tears, harsh words, arm jerks, face smacks…. none of it will make your children wise up and be perfectly obedient.
Just as you and I struggle daily with our own sinful nature our children struggle with theirs.
I’m not saying that order and expectations can’t help you in training up your children, please understand that. But I am saying that in the training you want to have a Relationship and in a relationship you need to have trust. If you are so worried about how your children behave or obey that you are destroying their trust then you will endure rough waters.
Jesus Christ gives us the gift of perfection in His death and resurrection, until He returns we will struggle repeatedly with our own sinful nature and with our children’s sinful nature. The Lord works through us as mothers and we have to remember that He will equip us. We have to remember to seek Him in our parenting decisions, not the standards & expectations of this world.
Robert Frost once said, “In just three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life. It goes on.”
My three words ~
They are words that I think are important to hear, words that sum up my day and words to inspire. They are the words of advice I give to new moms.
Perhaps that advice seems obvious, yet I have seen moms get so caught up in what they are supposed to teach their children, they forget to love them. Moms (and dads) focused on training up their children, on what punishments fit what behaviors, what schooling is the best, what will put their child on top, what will fulfill their needs. (whose? the mom’s needs or the child’s needs?)
I have a friend who has one of the most gentle personalities. She is funny, witty, intelligent, loving, passionate, and kind. She’s human, I’m pretty sure of that, but I’ve never seen her raise a voice or hand to her children.
I had to ask one day, how? How do you do this? Don’t you get angry? Is there ever a time when they make you crazy?
Her answer was a resounding yes, certainly. (Ah ha, she is human!)
But she was once reminded that her children are a precious thing.
She was reminded by her tearful toddler after a spanking.
“But mama, why did you spank me? I’m a precious thing.”
That was the one and only spanking in her home. There is no screaming at the children either. Their home is a place of peace, Christ, love, & creativity.
She has never corrected me when I was angry with my children, never shook her head or looked disappointed by my frustration. But quietly witnessed to me when I asked.
And reminded me