Category Archives: it’s about the momma

31 Days of Creative Homeschooling: When Burnout Happens

This week we have taken Kara’s advice to Step Out & honestly, it was just the thing we needed. We stopped being slaves to our schedule and traipsed through the woods.

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Typically we have our “Holy Monday” and then Tuesday through Friday our time is divided up with lessons, school work & classes. I made a choice to scale back and eliminate what I could.
I’ve found that after 15 yrs homeschooling & worrying about high school round 2 & 3 looming, I have burned myself out especially with all the extras. I teach in our co-op, lead a Jr high group weekly, teach out of our home, run kids to lessons & swimming…
I let it become all too much. Therefore, I’m beginning the downsizing process. If I can’t slow time I can at least enjoy the time we have together. I’ve dropped the kids swimming for now adding hikes, bike trails, dog walks, things we can do together instead. I’m finishing off the group in the spring & I’m trying fervently to add read aloud back into our days. Small steps over several months that I hope will renew me.

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31 Days of Creative Homeschooling: Dear Mama

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Dear Mama,
You aren’t perfect, you know that I’m sure. And dear mama, you surely have some relief in knowing that you’re not perfect and you give yourself some grace when you make mistakes. I hear you! I know how frustrating it is, this daily battle with self.
Dear mama, I want to take a moment and remind you that as you cannot make yourself perfect, you cannot make your children perfect. Take a breath and listen,

You Cannot Make Your Children Perfect.

You can gently lead, train, pray for and guide them. You can use kind words and show love, you can tenderly correct them. But dear mama, in no way can you make them perfect. No lists, no charts, no punishment, no scripture memory, no perfect curriculum, no amount of chores, no scrubbing the floors or walls, no tears, harsh words, arm jerks, face smacks…. none of it will make your children wise up and be perfectly obedient.
Just as you and I struggle daily with our own sinful nature our children struggle with theirs.
I’m not saying that order and expectations can’t help you in training up your children, please understand that. But I am saying that in the training you want to have a Relationship and in a relationship you need to have trust. If you are so worried about how your children behave or obey that you are destroying their trust then you will endure rough waters.
Jesus Christ gives us the gift of perfection in His death and resurrection, until He returns we will struggle repeatedly with our own sinful nature and with our children’s sinful nature. The Lord works through us as mothers and we have to remember that He will equip us. We have to remember to seek Him in our parenting decisions, not the standards & expectations of this world.

Robert Frost once said, “In just three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life. It goes on.”

My three words ~

Love
Your
Kids

They are words that I think are important to hear, words that sum up my day and words to inspire. They are the words of advice I give to new moms.
Perhaps that advice seems obvious, yet I have seen moms get so caught up in what they are supposed to teach their children, they forget to love them. Moms (and dads) focused on training up their children, on what punishments fit what behaviors, what schooling is the best, what will put their child on top, what will fulfill their needs. (whose? the mom’s needs or the child’s needs?)
I have a friend who has one of the most gentle personalities. She is funny, witty, intelligent, loving, passionate, and kind. She’s human, I’m pretty sure of that, but I’ve never seen her raise a voice or hand to her children.
I had to ask one day, how? How do you do this? Don’t you get angry? Is there ever a time when they make you crazy?
Her answer was a resounding yes, certainly. (Ah ha, she is human!)
But she was once reminded that her children are a precious thing.
She was reminded by her tearful toddler after a spanking.
“But mama, why did you spank me? I’m a precious thing.”
That was the one and only spanking in her home. There is no screaming at the children either. Their home is a place of peace, Christ, love, & creativity.
She has never corrected me when I was angry with my children, never shook her head or looked disappointed by my frustration. But quietly witnessed to me when I asked.
And reminded me

Love
Your
Kids

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31 Days of Creative Homeschooling: Working on My Words

When I let everything around me overwhelm me, I forget what matters. I forget who matters & what my job is ~ my vocation. Are you familiar with vocation?

“The doctrine of vocation deals with how God works through human beings to bestow His gifts. God gives us this day our daily bread by means of the farmer the banker, the cooks, And the lady at the check-out counter. He creates new life – the most amazing miracle of all – by means of mothers and fathers. He protects us by means of the police officers, firemen, and our military. He creates. Through artists. He heals by working through doctors, nurses, and others whom He has gifted, equipped, and called to the medical professions.”
― Gene Edward Veith Jr.

God equips me to be a mother, he has called me to it and works through me in the lives of my children. When I am in a place where everything is overwhelming my words aren’t very gentle, or kind or sweet I need to remember that He equips me.

God is hidden in vocations that bear authority. But that puts the pressure on human beings who exercise that authority to act with God’s justice and grace”
― Gene Edward Veith Jr.

And there’s the rub. Even when I am overwhelmed, annoyed, irritated.. angry, it is still my job to act with God’s grace.  I’m not perfect, and I know I will make mistakes. I made them yesterday and today and will tonight and tomorrow. But I think the key here is seeking God’s guidance in my words. Trusting that He will stop me from saying something that tears down and instead fill me with sweet encouraging words. Relying on His grace and love and not mine.

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scripture for moms

One creative way to be a mom who chooses kind words is to have some scripture  posted around the house to keep it mindful.  Another idea is to journal different phrases or verses to help keep them fresh in your mind.
By trying to keep my words in check, my children will learn to keep their words in check. And on those days when neither of us can control our words, we will have to remember to stop and pray for forgiveness from the Lord as well as ask from each other.

More from Veith about Vocation here ~
voca

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31 Days of Creative Homeschooling: Words

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A quick glance at one of my journal pages tonight ~ more on words tomorrow!

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Quietly closing the cover

For right now is time to close the cover, date the spine and set this blog up on the shelf .
I have some writing projects jotted in a journal, some ideas floating around, but this little corner that’s mine will be tucked away for now.

9/30/14 edited ~  *I’m Back! If you look at the top between “Home” and “About”, I have a new series of posts called 31 days of Creative Homeschooling. I will be updating daily through October and hoping to kick start my way back to blogging more frequently!

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Day 14

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Today I’m thankful for coffee! I didn’t start drinking it until I was well into my 30s but I’ve certainly grown to appreciate a warm cuppa on a slow moving day. It’s the little things in life!

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Day 11

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I’m thankful for Mondays ~
they are:
holy
quiet
slow
without lessons
or extras
and come with no expectations.

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